the people that write for the best fake newspaper around, the onion, are comic geniuses. after perusing the web site today, here are a few of my favorite headlines:

nation’s porn stars demand to be fucked harder

democrats vow not to give up hopelessness

diners slightly unnerved that waitress didn’t write down order

sean penn demands to know what asshole took seanpenn@gmail.com

the stories are just as funny, i assure you. just click on the headline to read them. by far my favorite was a mock-up of a fake paper from 1945. one of the lead stories? our first lesbian president. it’s funny because it might/could have been 100 percent true. well, at least the part about eleanor roosevelt being a dyke.