¡viva la graham!

this was the back page of nashville’s city paper a few years back. i can’t believe i’ve never posted this before!

i had it on my refridgerator for a long time - not just because of it’s overt sexual overtones, but also to see people’s reactions when they would notice it. the cable guy once asked my boyfriend if he was a wrestler after he saw the clipping. he didn’t know what to say when he replied, “no.”

the people that write for the best fake newspaper around, the onion, are comic geniuses. after perusing the web site today, here are a few of my favorite headlines:

nation’s porn stars demand to be fucked harder

democrats vow not to give up hopelessness

diners slightly unnerved that waitress didn’t write down order

sean penn demands to know what asshole took seanpenn@gmail.com

the stories are just as funny, i assure you. just click on the headline to read them. by far my favorite was a mock-up of a fake paper from 1945. one of the lead stories? our first lesbian president. it’s funny because it might/could have been 100 percent true. well, at least the part about eleanor roosevelt being a dyke.

most americans have yet to hear about u.k. indie heroes arctic monkeys. most american fags probably won’t pay attention even if the band achieves stateside success. but will queers pay attention to a trio of women? i know i usually do.

when u.k. girl group sugababes released their latest single “red dress,” it included a cover of arctic monkey’s breakthrough smash, “i bet you look good on the dancefloor.” believe it or not, the ‘babes managed to improve on the original (though since you’ve probably not heard this, it makes no difference); even the snobs over at pitchfork media thought it was brilliant . basically, what i’m saying is that all you queens will love this track… and now you can feel cosmopolitan and a little bit rock n roll!

i know you can download “dancefloor” online, but if you’d like something more tanglible (and archaic!), you can always order the import cd.

while some rock stars are undeniably attractive, others are oh so pin-up pretty. ok go frontman damian kulash falls into that latter category, making him the perfect choice for this week’s hot rocker.

you might not be familiar with his band (they’ve had a few minor hits, including “get over it” and “a million ways”), but you should be. plus damian’s actually got the talent to back up his good looks. they’re great in concert as well, and he’s even more disarming in person- swear to god!

the band is currently getting ready to tour the u.k. in support of their latest album, oh no. come back to nashvegas soon, boys!

shirley manson looks set to follow the footsteps of pal gwen stefani, as billboard recently reported on her plan to record a solo album. the garbage frontwoman insists that, like no doubt, her band is not breaking up. she’s just utilizing her downtime wisely.

shirley made the decision after completing a new song with u.k. composer david arnold, with whom she collaborated on her band’s underrated james bond theme, “the world is not enough.”

i, for one, am anxiously anticipating this record. i’ve always thought shirley manson was one of the most talented women in rock. as for her solo prospects, god bless my girl gwen, but let’s hope shirley comes up with something more inspired than “hollaback girl.”

i heard all sorts of crazy rumors about the finale of flavor of love…. one was that new york won - which she didn’t! another was that she was pregnant with flav’s baby, which would explain why she gained so much damn weight on the show. i don’t think that was true, either.

all i know is that according to spit-goddess pumkin, flav and hoopz don’t last because flavor of love season 2 is already in the works! is anyone really surprised?

in the meantime, vh1 is already advertising the flavor of love reunion, where new york promises to finally kick pumkin’s ass. i can’t wait!

pete wentz, last week’s ¡viva la graham! hot rocker, needs to be a little more careful with his private photo collection. pictures of the fall out boy bassist exposing his penis have suddenly surfaced - and blog gossip is saying that they were vengefully spread around the ‘net after pete tried to steal (or probably just sleep with) his friend’s girlfriend.

truthfully, these photos aren’t terribly flattering… i mean, they were taken in the bathroom like they were originally intended for his myspace page! then again, regardless of their quality, i’m glad we all get to see that pete’s got the goods. check them out after the jump (nsfw).

[jossip via a socialite’s life]

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rumors continue to surface about the sordid drug past of kate moss. some of them may be true, some may be make believe, but all of them seemed like desperate bids for attention by whomever was spreading the gossip.

i’ve ignored it all, until now, because this is just so outrageous it’s probably true. it has emerged that kate used to stash her drugs in a gem-encrusted faberge egg (including a plentiful supply of cocaine, ecstasy and rohypnol). while i cannot condone such irresponsible behavior, i must give clever kate credit for her resourcefulness. i wish i’d thought of that, darling!

joking aside, something tells me the folks at faberge won’t be advertising this unconventional use of their product… though stranger things have happened.

in an unprecedented act of good will, former posh spice victoria beckham has decided to bestow upon the world her ten commandments of style.

her advice for aspiring fashionistas does contain nuggets of truth. victoria recommends investing in timeless classics, and she also discourages dressing like a total whore, as it is “much sexier to leave a little to the imagination.”

the cluelessless of mrs. beckham shines through when she sings the praises of shopping around the world - especially japan and new york… because of course we all have the time and money to charter a private jet and spend a week shopping in tokyo!

(via radio 1)

the oscars were pretty much the same as they always were - mostly predictable and terribly long-winded. there were a few surprises, however…

* i think everyone was betting that dolly parton would take home the award for “travelin’ through” from transamerica. instead, the best song oscar went to three 6 mafia for “it’s hard out here for a pimp.” good for hip-hop, but what a bummer for poor dolly!

* jennifer garner almost fell on her face on stage as she walked to the microphone to give out the award for sound editing. while it would have been sad if she had fallen, it would have been a classic (and hysterical) moment. damn!

* even jack nicholson, who presented the award for best picture, was surprised when he opened the envelope. he said “woah!” after announcing that crash was the winner, beating out front-runner brokeback mountain. apparently it was the first time ever that a film had won just about every other best picture award and failed to win the oscar.

* i’m not sure if jon stewart really connected with the audience, but i thought he was brilliant. also, the skits were fantastic. the best actress faux commercials were inspired, and i couldn’t stop laughing during the gay cowboy montage…