¡viva la graham!

borrowing a page from the highly sarcastic steven colbert, i’ve decided to bestow upon my readers my own version of his notorious lists of annoyances: the slightly unnerving, classified as “on notice”; and the hopelessly unforgivable, most aptly referred to as “dead to me.” as you might expect, my lists will deal mostly with pop culture, with perhaps a few random displeasures thrown in for good measure…. let’s compare notes, shall we?

UPDATE: see the bottom of this post for my personalized “on notice” list courtesy of shipbrook.com (with a few added on for good measure!). give it a try!

ON NOTICE

vanessa minnillo - we do not need to see your face everywhere just because you may or may not be fucking nick lachey.

pink is the new blog - perhaps one of the most irritating, overrated gossip blogs around… but there’s no accounting for taste.

jay manuel - members of the fashion police are supposed to be bitchy, but why can’t he take it like he can dish it?

panic! at the disco - i fear we will forever be forced to endure mediocre bands with ridiculous names.

a.d.d. - such a clever excuse for being slow!

DEAD TO ME

laguna beach - though it never seemed possible, it just keeps getting worse.

fergie’s “london bridge” - it was cute when gwen did it. not so much for you.

dude from nickelback - i don’t know your name, but your voice (and face) haunt my nightmares.

karl lagerfeld - you frighten me. seriously.

i.b.s. - for some reason, i’m sure you’ll afflict me in the future. so i’m going to start hating you now.

sorry i haven’t posted in a week! i needed a break… while searching for a suitable subject to herald my turn, i came across the lovely and talented aretha franklin recently performing in the u.k. isn’t she lovely?

the queen of soul is getting up there in age, so her appearances are rare these days. after three songs the bitch is exhausted! at this particular event, the dress didn’t stay too perky either… yikes!

[via dlisted]

that’s just three mags he has appeared in so far this summer… and jackass: number two isn’t even out until sept. 22. it looks like we’ll be seeing much more of johnny knoxville in the coming month. and i’m okay with that.

update: the cover at left, insider, is actually not it’s own publication. it’s a section of blender magazine.

so what is it that makes johnny so appealing to just about everyone? he is a hero for most straight guys, many of whom mimick his mindless daredevil stunts. as for the ladies, you should have seen the reaction when i showed my co-workers the new issue of spin the other day. they could hardly contain themselves. which brings us to the queers… for some reason, johnny knoxville consistently appears on gay magazine covers. why is that? oh yeah…

finally, dangerous muse have released the video for their debut single, “the rejection.” i’ve been waiting for this for months! yes, it’s the video of the week, but i must admit i was a bit disappointed with the so-so visual accompaniment of a fab track. it could have been SO much better! i know they are on an indie label, but they could have made a bigger effort to make it not look so… low-budget. oh well! this track - and these boys - are still super hot.

when can we expect the full-length album?? we’re gagging for it!

let’s hope she hasn’t fully embraced the rock ‘n roll lifestyle since she started dating yellowcard singer ryan key. video surfaced this week of the pair being pulled on stage to perform “sweet child o’ mine” with metal skool, a metal tribute band, in los angeles. kelly was definitely having a good time at the concert, as the clip shows her chugging whiskey from the bottle and pretending to flash the crowd.

it’s good to see her having a good time, but one must worry when taking into account who she’s hangin’ with… we’ve heard rumors about ryan key’s alleged penchant for nose candy (he even wrote a song called “powder”!), and we’re a bit worried for ms. clarkson. her heart seems to be set on getting more rock credibility, and a coke habit tragically falls into that category. be careful, kelly!

here’s a very funny find of the day spotted over at found magazine. i wonder if andie ever got a chance to see this romantic work of art. poor girl, they probably discovered her body nearby, chopped up into little pieces.

as for the actual drawing… other than the blood dripping from the open wound, the best bit has to be the ninja star earring.

you might recall royston langdon, the dashing lead singer of spacehog and husband to the lovely and talented liv tyler. you might not be acquainted with his even more photogenic youngest brother, christian.

christian recently joined forces with royston and other brother antony (who was also in spacehog) by forming thier own group, arckid. thanks to their good genes, decent tunes and famous friends and family, they’re already attracting plenty of attention. all this and i think they have yet to sign a recording contract (not that they’d be much of a gamble).

i’ll definitely be keeping up with this trio of pretty boys - especially christian, the newest member of our hot rockstar club. yes, sirree.

…like scott storch scorned!*

christina aguilera allegedly dissed the super-producer on “f.u.s.s.,” a track off her fab new album, back to basics. not one to take criticism lightly, storch told in touch weekly, “i worked on half of her last cd and sold her millions of copies. obviously, she cares more than i do that i didn’t do this album. but i can’t blame her, with an album full of fillers, oversinging and lame vegas-like cabaret music. you should fire your management for letting me slip through your fingers.”

storch has a good track record, i’ll give him that, but he’s giving himself way too much credit here. even people who don’t really like christina admit that she’s got loads of talent. scott storch, on the other hand, has lately been reduced to working with paris hilton and brooke hogan. i’m quite sure our favorite dirrrty girl will have the last laugh with this one.

[photo via hollywood rag]

*i couldn’t bear to post his hideous mug on here… you’re welcome.

i cannot get enough of the pipettes. one part ’60s girl group, one part indie darlings, these girls cook up an amazingly delicious brand of pop. i promise you’ll love the video of the week, “pull shapes,” their latest u.k. single. ladies, come see us in the states! i bet their concerts are a blast.

behold the shocking style evolution of the panic channel’s handsome front man, steve isaacs. who could have been his inspiration? i assume it was none other than bandmate dave navarro.

i know perry farrell used to wear some freaky shit when they were in jane’s addiction, but the severe fashion misstep steve is rockin’ above left was probably way too much for dear old dave. i think the new look is a vast improvement (i’ve always been partial to black eyeliner and stripey sleeves), even if it seems glaringly calculated. check it out, even steve’s guitar got the make-over treatment!

perhaps when the two of them get more acquianted, steve can return the favor by convincing dave to trim that ridiculous beard of his.