¡viva la graham!

Of course you know Beyonce, pictured right, but do you recognize that poor girl on the left? It’s her little sister Solange Knowles.

If you think Solange’s disproportionate dress looks bad in this photo, you should have seen it on stage last night at the Grammy Awards. Beyonce (or more likely one of Beyonce’s stylists) probably told her she looked hot, so against her better judgment she went with it.

Solange cannot catch a break! Beyonce better not hog the spotlight for too long, or else in forty years there could be some serious drama a la What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? On second thought, keep up the good work Beyonce!

congratulations are in order for freemasons, a group of beat masters who manage to resuscitate an otherwise limp beyonce track called “green light.” i loved their last single, “rain down love,” but i really admire them for what they’ve done here. who else could have transformed a by-the-numbers album track into something truly dancefloor-worthy? not i, said the fly.

unfortunately, the visuals are unremarkable… primarily because it seems as if all involved felt like parodying robert palmer was an original idea.

one woman is known for being bootylicious, the other for having hips that don’t lie. it makes perfect sense to put these two body-conscious ladies together for a serious superstar duet.

the fun part of beyonce and shakira’s new video, “beautiful liar,” is trying to figure out who’s who! i never really thought they looked alike before, but thanks to similar outfits and hairstyles (and a bit of rain and smoke), it takes a moment to tell in almost every shot. i know not everyone out there is a fan of either of these divas, but whether or not you like the song i think the effect is mesmerizing.

congratulations are in order for nelly furtado, who scored her second u.s. no. 1 single today with “say it right.” her rise to the peak of the billboard chart ends the seemingly eternal reign of beyonce, who remained on top with “irreplaceable” for basically as long as i can remember.

nelly better enjoy it while she can, cos she’s got some stiff competition hot on her heels. if things go according to plan, gwen will overtake her in the next week or two with “the sweet escape”… just don’t let fergie ferg get to no. 1!! it will only encourage her to punish us with another dreadful solo record.

“irreplaceable” was cranked up on the stereo yesterday as i waited in line at the local convenience store. a very slow cashier was warbling along with beyonce as she checked people out.

“to the left, to the left,” she sang off-key, pausing as beyonce took the lead… though not long enough to say much to her customers beyond how much they owed for their diet soda and unleaded gasoline.

despite her questionable skills, the cashier inspired another woman in line to quietly sing along. as you might expect, i was unable to resist the urge to hum the tune as well.

*here’s a new semi-regular column here at ¡viva la graham!, where we’ll relay our everyday experiences with pop culture in the real world. keep reading!

“that bitch christina will not steal my thunder!” you know that’s what beyonce is thinking, which is probably why her new single has already turned up on the internet. (is it three months ahead of the album?)

the review over at pitchfork leans toward the forgiving, calling the track “comfy and charming in its familiarity.” perhaps. but i think they’re more accurate when they label it “passable.”

that said, this is the first listen. beyonce tends to grow on me. so in a month i will likely be squealing like a girl when i hear this on the dancefloor. cos i’m queer like that.

beyonce has revealed details about her forthcoming sophomore solo cd, which she has amusingly decided to call b’day. maybe it’s because no one puts an apostrophe in there, everyone puts a hyphen - but when i first saw that, i totally thought beyonce was giving a shout out to the french ass & cooch cleaner. i was all, girl, you spelled it wrong, but i guess that’s just you keepin’ it street! then i kept reading and and i realized it was in reference to the album coming out on her birthday. bo-ring!

ok, in this post i just realized i sound like mk over at d listed. it must be the post-holiday haze.

am i the only one who thinks beyonce’s new track is a total stinker? “check on it,” which appears in her upcoming pink panther flick, currently rests at no. 3 on billboard’s hot 100. maybe i’m being fickle, but in my opinion this song has nothing on “crazy in love” - or most of beyonce’s debut album, dangerously in love.

i think i’m spotting a trend here. the last time she spoonfed the public a pile of crap, it was playing over the credits of her big screen debut, austin powers’ goldmember. that song, “work it out,” didn’t even chart in the u.s.

if i were michelle williams or kelly rowland, i’d be really pissed that beyonce put this solo track on the destiny’s child #1’s album. what does that tell you? beyonce runs the show, that’s what it tells me! i suppose that’s not really news, though.

let’s hope the queen bee returns to form when she enters the studio later this year to finish up her sophomore solo effort.