¡viva la graham!

i never noticed how much amy poehler looks like little dakota fanning! she portrayed the pint-sized movie star on a very funny saturday night live skit last night. amy definitely had dakota’s mannerisms down pat for “the dakota fanning show,” but the best part of the sketch was when drew barrymore emerged as little miss sunshine’s abigail breslin.

when discussing future film roles, abigail said, “i play a doll that comes to life, and i’m about to do another movie with a talking hamster.”

dakota replied, “i get raped in my next movie.”

top that!

meet “super tonio,” the world’s largest baby. ladies and gentlemen, this is not a 6-month-old, this is a 14.5 lb. newborn. some poor woman had to carry this lump around for 9 months. obviously they delivered him via c-section, because otherwise he would have torn his mother’s vagina in half.

as my friend liz would say, imagine that inside of you!

for two seconds i totally believed this. the funny thing is, i’ve actually seen some of these acts live… haha! no, i’m not telling which.

in case you’re curious about the actual performers - and there are several of note (mika, lily allen, the kooks, to name a few) -you can find them here.

[via pitchforkmedia]

that’s how lovegodsway.org describes “the bible says,” which is allegedly recorded by an ex-gay that goes by the name of donnie davies. i’m not sure if this is for real or a big joke. all i know is that it’s absolutely hysterical.. in an unforgivably discriminatory sort of way. seriously, this video has to be seen to be believed! i especially like how he just holds his guitar without playing it.

by the way, neither “donnie davies” nor his band “evening service” seem to exist beyond their respective web sites, so it’s hard to give credence to this as anything more than an attempt at humor.

UPDATE: the debate rages on. is it a hoax or not? i suppose time will tell.

this sketch, which opened last weekend’s christmas episode of saturday night live, is proof that the women on the show are much funnier that the guys.

check out “santa’s my boyfriend,” a holiday-inspired, ’60s girl group parody featuring maya rudolph, amy poehler and kristen wiig. i loved every minute of this!!

imagine a world in which this headline is splashed across the front page: “kevin federline, wife divorce”… it’s not only impossible to imagine, it’s also the funniest thing the onion has come up with all year.

the article jokes that k-fed is a huge celeb and his gold digging wife isn’t even worth mentioning by name. britney doesn’t even get half her face in the picture (at right) they include of the “superstar rapper.”

the whole thing is gloriously absurd, but the second paragraph of the story is probably the best:

“according to federline’s publicist, marilyn chang, the spouse, a 24-year-old entertainer who worked as a singer and foreground dancer at federline performances before wedding him in 2004, presented federline with divorce papers on nov. 7 citing irreconcilable differences.”

click here for the rest!

a friend of mine submitted an old photo of me to this “celebrity look-alike” web site. the results are astonishingly twisted and hysterical…

i swear they somehow knew how much i loathe john mayer!! also, i think it’s intriguing how i can look like both chris noth, heidi klum, and the gay guy from westlife. haha!

remember that episode of sex & the city when carrie was in that charity fashion show and she fell on her face in the middle of the runway?

well, it happened for real yesterday at a vivienne westwood show during paris fashion week. though my nearly stopped when carrie lost her footing, it’s hard to feel sorry for a real model. this woman almost elicits sympathy after falling down not once, but twice. and that second tumble is a doozy!

you know inside she’s cursing those orange and yellow pumps. this is painful to watch, but afterward you’ll want to watch it again!!

it’s not really her in the video, mind you, but it is set to her latest single, “jump.” i highly advise that you check this out. while it is very well done for a fan-made clip, it raises several questions:

1. who the hell is hilye, this strange creature trying to pass herself off as madonna?
2. is this hilye a woman or a man in drag? i thought i saw an adam’s apple, but i couldn’t tell for sure.
3. why didn’t hilye bother to actually learn the song before shooting this elaborate video? madonna, a notorious perfectionist, would not be amused.
4. is hilye available for entertainment purposes at parties and weddings? she’d be such a hit, i just know it!

as if batman and robin weren’t gay enough, this bizarro comic takes it a step further. i especially like the flamboyant gloves and the thigh high boots. i daresay robin has never looked so fabulous.