¡viva la graham!

Of course you know Beyonce, pictured right, but do you recognize that poor girl on the left? It’s her little sister Solange Knowles.

If you think Solange’s disproportionate dress looks bad in this photo, you should have seen it on stage last night at the Grammy Awards. Beyonce (or more likely one of Beyonce’s stylists) probably told her she looked hot, so against her better judgment she went with it.

Solange cannot catch a break! Beyonce better not hog the spotlight for too long, or else in forty years there could be some serious drama a la What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? On second thought, keep up the good work Beyonce!

i meant to write about this monstrosity the other day, but somehow it slipped through the cracks.

so here’s jennifer connelly at the premiere to her new flick reservation road. it’s probably another snoozer, so jen tried to liven things up with this blinding dress and equally hideous heels. god bless her!

i don’t know what to say really. the pattern, the stitching, the puffy shoulders. my lord! would anyone look good in that? gwen stefani wouldn’t go near it. even bai ling would think twice before trying it on.

on another note, jennifer needs to eat something. she’s looking hungry, which might explain her lapse in judgement. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: a skinny bitch is a confused bitch!!

[image via dlisted]

what do we have here? i can hardly believe it, but it’s lily allen looking absolutely amazing. she ditched the empire waist for a figure-hugging number at a recent fashion rocks afterparty in london. it’s not that lily was a big girl before, but now she is in very good shape. watch out winehouse!

don’t recognize this blonde beauty? i didn’t either.

it’s none other than “say it right” singer nelly furtado, who decided to shock the world by showing off a questionable new dye job the other night on the red carpet.

perhaps furtado has been spending too much time in hollywood, or maybe she just went through a break-up or something. lord knows why she else she’d opt for such a drastic change!

here’s a side-by-side comparison of nelly now and then (click to enlarge). i much prefer her natural dark locks to this head-scratching peroxide experiment. let’s hope this is only temporary.

[images via dlisted]

this is a little bit discouraging. i hadn’t seen a photo of ally sheedy in a while, and from the looks of this latest red carpet moment it looks like she’s been reading too much us weekly. ally, you were so adorable as the outcast in the breakfast club, why are you starving yourself?? keep in mind that the camera adds 10 pounds — in person she must look like a skeleton! someone needs to tell her to gain weight for a role.

how could i forget about this? here’s my best bud kellie pickler trashing up the cmt awards on monday night. she should have called me, actually, because i never would have let her turn up looking like this! i mean, what’s up with the fake braid and the teased mess around back? yikes. she must have lost my phone number… i suppose the dress isn’t that hideous. at least it accentuates the positive, if you know what i mean.

i wonder if carrie underwood even said hello. i bet she hauled ass to her private dressing room the second she saw kellie coming down the red carpet.

[photos via dlisted]

something tells me kirsten dunst misunderstood this phrase. we’re not supposed to be the ones who suffer honey, you are!

it’s hard to feel sorry for the rich and famous, yet at the same time it’s hard to deny dunst a bit of tea and sympathy when, at the biggest red carpet event of the year, she turns up dressed like this.

i had planned on ignoring the oscar coverage (mainly because everyone else runs it into the ground), but i changed my mind when i read a clever commentary from the onion. the headline says it all: “oscars reveal widening gap between best, worst dressed.” factor in a few fictitious quotes from melissa rivers and you’ve got a sarcastic masterpiece.

i’d like to think kirsten will take this criticism and emerge victorious, but something tells me she’ll never cross over to the other side of the fashion chasm. oh well, at least she’s in good company…

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here’s imogen heap, a nominee for best new artist, on the red carpet at last night’s grammy awards.

i’m not sure why she chose this garden geisha get-up. i can handle the paper umbrella and the white gloves, i suppose. the lilypads on her skirt are in very poor taste, but it doesn’t really surprise me coming from her… what really sets this apart is the shrubbery coming out of her head! i mean, that shit is what legends are made of. she’s approaching bjork territory here — only this isn’t nearly as clever.

unfortunately, imogen wasn’t given much screen time on the telecast. and of course the bitch didn’t win, so she didn’t get to explain her crazy ass. pity.

here’s gwen stefani looking flawless at an awards show in france. this is the most done up she’s been in a while — perhaps ever! and i’m really diggin it’. she should do this more often.

in other gwen news, new single “the sweet escape” just entered the u.s. top 20 with a bullet. good for you, girl! i’m hoping the same happens with this album as the last. if you don’t recall, “what you waiting for” and love. angel. music. baby. didn’t immediately catch on when they were first released back in 2004. slowly but surely, the album became more popular with each single. if her record label plays it right, the sweet escape could easily do the same.

check out another shot of glamour gwen on the red carpet after the jump.

[photos via dlisted]

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good lord, i love parker posey. is there another actress who could be so comical and caustic on the red carpet? definitely not.

i hadn’t yet seen this ensemble, which parker wore to the hollywood premiere of indie flick adam & steve (she plays a supporting role). obviously, her outfit is all about the telephone handbag, which is awesome because it is so unfashionable. but her quirky sense of humor went over the heads of the numbskulls at us weekly, who basically called her a crazy bitch, saying she must be calling the fashion police. wow, isn’t that just so clever and original?