¡viva la graham!

it’s finally time for the major networks to unveil their new shows, and thanks to my on-demand cable service i had a chance to preview one of the most anticipated programs this season, nbc’s bionic woman.

my verdict? this show kicks ass.

if you’ve seen the lindsay wagner original, don’t expect anything like it. this is a high-tech sci-fi thrill ride with a much darker tone. michelle ryan stars as jaime sommers, a world-weary bartender who also looks after her rebellious younger sister (their parents are out of the picture). when she discovers she is pregnant with her scientist/professor boyfriend’s baby, he pops the question. then — and if you’ve seen the commercials you know what’s next — there’s a horrible accident (or is it?) and the scientist is forced to make a split second decision to save the woman he loves. and that’s just the first ten minutes.

ryan is fantastic and friend/foe sarah corvis (played by katee sackhoff) is even better. i was annoyed by the teenage sister, but thankfully she doesn’t get much screen time. all in all, it’s dramatic, clever, and action packed, and i can’t wait to see what happens next. see for yourself on wednesday night.

i had mixed feelings when i heard parker posey would be starring in her own television show, the return of jezebel james. i’ll watch anything she’s in (and most of it is brilliant), but at the same time i was wary of seeing the former indie film queen in a comedy from the creators of that schmaltz-fest the gilmore girls. now that i’ve seen a preview for the series, which will reportedly serve as a mid-season replacement on fox, i’m even more confused.

parker is fabulous, as always, and i adore lauren ambrose as well (she was on hbo’s six feet under, and believe it or not that is her in the photo). they both do well with the so-so dialogue and the derivative premise, but i’m not sure this will make it to the small screen as is. perhaps the strangest part is having ms. posey accompanied by a laugh track. it’s just not right! if you’re so inclined, watch the clip for yourself after the jump. Continue Reading »

following in the footsteps of flavor flav, bret michaels enlisted vh1 to round up a dozen or so willing participants to dry hump him while a camera loomed. you can’t really blame the poison front man, can you? he’s in his mid-40s now, and after all these years he can’t be bothered to bar hop in search of adoring groupies. (it doesn’t hurt that he probably pocketed a hefty paycheck for his trouble.)

so rock of love has been on for a few weeks now, and though the format is the same as its predecessor, i find these girls to be a bit more entertaining. kudos to the casting director for finding some of the most outrageous ladies on myspace (that’s where they found them, right?)!

don’t get me wrong, i loved me some buckwild and goldie… but this time around it’s a whole new ballgame. i mean, would a crazy cowgirl like rodeo have shown up for flav? i think not. also, it’s rare that one gets to witness a battle of wits between tipsy blondes with massive boobs (one of whom brought the phrase “clown tits” into the cultural lexicon). see what you’ve been missing??

while in san diego, a good friend of mine turned me onto a quirky bbc comedy called the mighty boosh. it focuses on an amusing pair named vince (pictured, left) and howard, whose wacky adventures involve outlandish situations and musical interludes. the storylines tend to ignore all logic and continuity, and the characters are usually so ridiculous (trust me!) that you must be willing to suspend all disbelief.

it isn’t for everyone, but if you appreciate left-field british humor, give it a look. though the program is usually quite strange, it is almost always hilarious (especially with repeat viewings). you might just get hooked.

here’s the first part of a silly-yet-clever second-series episode called “nanageddon,” in which vince goes goth and unleashes a tribe of villainous grannies on an unsuspecting london.

you can also watch part 2 and part 3 on youtube.

kathy griffin’s wonderful reality show, my life on the d-list, recently returned for a third season on bravo. one of her goals this time around is to find a new man that can get her picture in the tabloids (she split with her hubby last year).

the show’s web site has a poll asking which male celeb can get kathy “off the d-list,” and the winner might surprise you. as of now, american idol phenom sanjaya malakar leads by a landslide with 74 percent of the votes.

kathy said on the show last night that she didn’t mind ending up with a gay man, and let’s face it, pretty much everyone thinks sanjaya is gay but doesn’t know it yet. she said she’d even date clay aiken and look the other way if he wanted to do his own thing with a webcam, which i thought was nothing short of hysterical.

upcoming episodes of the reality hit will be bittersweet, as kathy’s father unfortunately passed away during filming. keep tissues handy…. and by the way, my condolences go out to kathy and her family. mr. griffin sure made us laugh on the show while he was still with us, and he will not be soon forgotten.

molly shannon, i love you!! the snl alum returned to her home turf last night — and she brought back mary katherine gallagher, among other familiar favorites.

she was only the 2nd former female cast member to ever come back and host, and unlike julia louis-dreyfuss, she had a host of characters to resuscitate (including sally o’malley and jeanie darcy). she was there to hype her new flick, year of the dog, but her visit wasn’t just promotional. the look on her face when she emerged for the monologue was priceless. she was obviously so happy to be back — it’s such an accomplishment! — and she could hardly contain herself.

after the jump, i’ve got one skit from last night. not the best from the show, but it shows my girl in top form. cameltoe forever!

Continue Reading »

apparently i didn’t get the memo that sarah silverman will be hosting the mtv movie awards june 3. two words: hell yeah!

since the event isn’t broadcast on hbo, she unfortunately won’t be able to be as crass as usual, but as we have learned from her successful comedy central show, she can be hysterically funny without using overtly “offensive” language. the show is going live for the first time ever (it’s about time), so those censors better be ready in case sarah drops an f-bomb or brings up her vagina!

a few performers have been announced as well. amy winehouse will be singing (hopefully she’ll remember her dentures!), and jay-z will join rihanna to sing “umbrella,” which everybody but me seems to be raving about. go figure.

jane fonda stopped by the colbert report last night to make out with the host. no, seriously. she sat in his lap and wouldn’t budge for the entire interview. in between his random questions (”what was it like working with lindsay lohan?” - haha!), she nibbled on his ear and gushed about his sweet lips.

it was fantastic to see colbert look so uncomfortable, since he’s normally the one causing the awkwardness. it really seemed like he had no idea what to do, so he played along. lord knows what really possessed jane fonda to kiss and cuddle with him (she claimed to have a crush on him), but it certainly made for good television. view the saucy interview over at comedycentral.com.

i haven’t commented on alec baldwin’s voicemail tirade toward his daughter because really, everyone i know has been bitched out by their parents, and much worse was said! it really just seems to be a spiteful battle between two spoiled actors, alec and ex-wife kim basinger. this fictional movie poster, via best week ever, pretty much sums it up.

as for baldwin’s claim that he wanted out of his contract with nbc’s 30 rock, give me a break! the man can’t have a successful career and a fulfilling life with his “piggy” daughter (his words, not mine!)? he’s just playing the p.r. game! if he could go to rehab to make himself look better, he would.

nbc hasn’t commented, but i’m assuming he’s coming back to 30 rock next season. hell no will they let him go when the show is finally gaining momentum! speaking of which, the finale the other night was fantastic. elaine stritch played jack’s mom (brilliant!) and sean hayes played kenneth’s hillbilly cousin (superb!). also, they didn’t leave us with an annoying cliffhanger; everything was resolved quite nicely. if only alec’s personal life would do the same.

just in case you can’t wait ’til sunday, you can watch the first episode of vh1’s charm school online starting today… minus the elimination at the end of the episode, of course. head over to vspot for the streaming video!

so what’s the verdict? thanks to mo’nique, this shit is bananas! not only does my favorite big girl bring it, the class-free flavor of love girls are also at their best. and by that i mean they’re mostly behaving badly, making the show that much better.

otherwise, it’s good to see my girl again, the hysterical, misunderstood becky buckwild. and as always the wided-eyed, bat-shit-crazy schatar (”hottie”) is in rare form. this is going to be good!