dick clark has been ringing in the new year with american audiences since 1972. after suffering a stroke in 2004, many thought the seemingly eternal teenager would relinquish his crown gracefully. unfortunately, that did not happen.

last night, just like last year, dick clark co-hosted the new year’s rockin’ eve special with ryan seacrest. things weren’t any better for dear old dick this time around - he struggled with his speech and faltered with his lines. it was very difficult to watch, and not just a little bit sad.

it makes you wonder why abc is keeping him on as the host - is it for ratings or money? surely it can’t be for the sake of tradition, because this isn’t the youthful dick clark we remember.

as much as i hate to say it, we should let dick stay home next year. i really don’t want to have ryan seacrest fill his shoes, but at the same time, i can’t face another year watching dick clark suffer.

this sketch, which opened last weekend’s christmas episode of saturday night live, is proof that the women on the show are much funnier that the guys.

check out “santa’s my boyfriend,” a holiday-inspired, ’60s girl group parody featuring maya rudolph, amy poehler and kristen wiig. i loved every minute of this!!

the scissor sisters continue to gain stateside exposure in the most unconventional ways. they’ve already appeared on dancing with the stars, and now it has been announced that the band will make their soap opera debut on the most outrageous of daytime dramas, nbc’s passions. given the camp level of the band, this is a perfect match.

viewers will be treated with performances of “i don’t feel like dancing” and “land of a thousand words.” the best part, however, is that ana matronic (above, left) will act in a scene alongside that wacky witch lady,tabitha (above, right), which is probably the most brilliant idea i’ve heard all year…

i’ve been meaning to post about tina fey’s new sitcom, 30 rock, but somehow it slipped through the cracks. if you have yet to see it, you need to smack yourself… because it is hysterical!

last week’s episode involved alec baldwin’s character setting liz lemon (tina fey) up on a blind date. the punchline? it turns out he thought liz was a lesbian. when the gal asks liz if anyone had ever made the mistake before, a fantastic flashback gives us the answer, as a butch gym teacher advises a gawky, teenage liz: “lemon, don’t let these girls give you a hard time about who you are.”

haha!! i knew tina fey was going to hit another one out of the park. yes, i’m still sad that rachel dratch isn’t a major player, but the superior end product has almost erased that fact from my memory.

don’t take my word for it, though. you can check out the blind date episode over at youtube (parts 1 - 2 - 3).

did anybody catch the new logo reality show, jacob & joshua: nemesis rising, last night? i actually missed it… though i did record it! after seeing previews, i was wondering if anyone noticed who appears to be one of the only other cast members - jacob’s boyfriend, nick (there was one shot of them in bed together that you would definitely remember!).

if you didn’t know, the three of them used to live in nashville - and i enjoyed the pleasure of their company on several occasions.

here’s an old photo of me and nick at a party from forever ago. when he was still in nashvegas he was working behind the desk at our library’s beautiful main branch. we used to call him the hot librarian… i don’t know what he’s doing these days - all i know is that he moved to los angeles with jacob - but i’m happy to see that he’s still hot as ever. jacob’s a lucky man.

anyway, give the show a shot! jacob and josh really couldn’t be any sweeter, and i wish them the best of luck with their music and the tv gig. i’ll be rooting for you guys!

fuck the models! those bitches come and go. the main attraction? miss j’s hair, like this whitney-circa-the bodyguard ‘do. it’s the most ridiculous thing ever. i love it. and in this screencap, she looks like a constipated girl scout! the headband is a nice touch, too, isn’t it??

[image via fourfour]

i’m still mourning tina fey’s departure from saturday night live. i might be in the minority, but i thought the show had been pretty funny since amy poehler joined her as co-host on ‘weekend update.’ some sketches work better than others, yes, but i was laughing more often than not.

her successor was finally announced this week - cast member seth meyers is not only the show’s new head writer, he’ll also be joining ms. poehler behind the ‘weekend update’ desk. the season premiere is one week from today, so we shall see if he can rise to the challenge.

i really like seth. he’s funny and kinda cute… i’m bummed they didn’t give amy poehler a solo gig on the famous fake news sketch (she could have been just like katie couric!), but i can deal with this. after the announcement that other cast members would not be returning, i’m just hoping things don’t go downhill from here.

i have one final wish, lorne michaels… since rachel dratch lost her starring role on tina fey’s new sitcom, 30 rock (she was demoted to “recurring character” status), can she come back to snl?? pretty please! oh well, i guess i won’t hold my breath.

as of last night, nbc’s hit comedy the office has a recurring gay character. the season premiere episode, titled “the gay witch hunt,” was very tongue-in-cheek, and, as usual, extremely funny.

steve carell’s character, michael, offended office accountant oscar (pictured, right) when he said it was “faggy” of him to prefer shakespeare in love over die hard (haha!). check out this clip of the human resources guy (i think) telling michael that oscar is, indeed, homosexual. his response?

“i would have never called him that if i knew. you don’t call retarded people ‘retards.’ it’s bad taste. you call your friends retards when they’re acting retarded… and i consider oscar a friend.”

after outing him to the office, michael plants an awkward smooch on oscar in front of all his co-workers. y’know, as a show of support. it was hysterical…

i just started watching this show over the summer, so i’m still getting into it… but i think they handled this very well. they got the most laughs by making fools of those who can only identify gay people through stereotypes, which is commendable. i’ll definitely continue to tune in this season, especially to see what happens with oscar (and his “roommate,” gil) in the future.

i don’t know if you’ve been watching vh1’s flavor of love 2, but i am addicted! it’s trash television at its’ best.

anyway, last night’s episode was very disappointing because this season’s most amusing bachelorette, buckwild, removed herself from the competition. why, god, why?!? if you’ve seen the show, i’m sure you agree that this girl is absolutely hysterical.

at the elimination ceremony, flav decided he was going to ask back season one’s supreme beast, new york, who had originally been there only to help him decide who should stay and who should go. well, after new york accepted her clock, buckwild quit then and there. her explanation was classic: “i just spent $30,000 to get out of jail [for fighting] and i’m not going back for that bitch.”

on one hand, i can’t blame buckwild (real name: becky). i couldn’t handle new york either! i would have done the same thing. on the other hand, i’m very sad to see her go. she was definitely the comic relief. from here on out it’s mainly just a whore-off.

if you missed the episode, there’s a very funny recap over at d-listed. also, if you’re a buckwild fan, you should check her out on myspace.

celebrity chef gordon ramsay (you know, the total prick from hell’s kitchen) had a special ingredient for his latest dish - his two pet pigs, trinny and susannah. on his recent british reality show, the f-word, ramsay bred the two porkers throughout the course of the program.

when it finally came time to slaughter the poor things, they made ramsay stick around for the grisly proceedings. apparently the chef cried like a baby (or at least got a bit choked-up) as he watched them suffer in their last moments.

as horrible as this all sounds, it’s nice to know that gordon isn’t completely heartless. i still don’t particularly like him, so i’m not really sure if the stunt was all that effective. i will, however, be skipping the bacon with my breakfast tomorrow.

[via best week ever]