¡viva la graham!

i don’t usually waste my time worrying about kate bosworth, but i really couldn’t pass up the chance to ridicule this very silly head-adornment.

but seriously! this has to be one of the most glaring what-was-she-thinking moments i’ve seen in the past few months. it looks like a spider’s just chillin’ on her forehead!

mo’nique, my favorite full-figured comedienne, is the one responsible for this post’s headline… and i’m certain she would break this bitch in half, at least metaphorically. “eat something, bitch,” she said on stage once. “it fucked up your thinkin’.”

glitter is one of my all-time favorite bad movies. we all know that mimi (that’s her in the background) has rebounded from that glorious mess, but no one seems to recall the other players that have since gone on to notable success.

terrence howard, who played a shady record producer, went on to score an oscar nod for his role in hustle & flow. the latest glitter star to make good is padma lakshmi, the d-lister who currently hosts bravo’s top chef. despite her questionable qualifications for judging food, kudos to her for overcoming the curse of mariah. i assume “has-been” da brat will never enjoy a similar fate.

fuck the models! those bitches come and go. the main attraction? miss j’s hair, like this whitney-circa-the bodyguard ‘do. it’s the most ridiculous thing ever. i love it. and in this screencap, she looks like a constipated girl scout! the headband is a nice touch, too, isn’t it??

[image via fourfour]

kid rock and pamela anderson were married today in st. tropez. the level of class at the ceremony can best be illustrated with the above photo (note the bottle of bud in kid rock’s hand). at the actual ceremony, however, pam wore less clothes. but that’s not a surprise, is it?

as the happy couple previously revealed, there is going to be a reception in nashville at some point in the very near future. i, for one, would love to crash this party - so i’ve made up a list of possible locations in town where the newlyweds might celebrate.

• bar twenty3 - kid and pam have been known to frequent this hotspot before, probably because they were immediately granted access to the upstairs v.i.p. area. guess what, kids? so have i. big fuckin’ deal.
• christie’s cabaret - only these two would have their party at a strip club, and if they chose any of the titty bars in music city, this would be it. only if kid could bring his own d.j., of course.
• layl’a rul - you might think this place is a bit too posh for this crew, but kid rock has been seen here on many occasions… obviously, they’ll let in anybody who’s got the green.
• union station - this vintage hotel used to be the railroad transport hub in nashville. nowadays, it’s the most upscale, gorgeous venue in town. if i had the money, i would have my party here… but this is undoubtedly too high-brow for them.
• white trash cafe - i don’t even know if they have heard of this meat and three, but from the name alone, i know it would suit them. don’t you agree?

i’m going to keep my ears open. but if you hear any news about the whereabouts of the upcoming soiree, let me know! i’m sure i can weasel my way in somehow.

the black eyed peas‘ fergie has done it! with the release of her debut solo single, “london bridge,” she has managed to become even more intolerable.

at first, i didn’t really mind stacy ferguson. after a mildly annoying start on kids incorporated, she was rather harmless as part of bland girl group wild orchid. when she eventually made the leap to the ‘peas, i sort of shrugged off her hip-hop make over.

since then, most of us have gotten sick of her - especially after “my humps” - for as you know, any mindless track that refers to tits and ass (see: “bootylicious“) will enjoy unprecedented success. unwittingly, that helped launch something even more tragic and unnecessary. but don’t take my word for it… see for yourself.

gwen, i can’t help but also lay a bit of blame on your smash solo effort! without the idiotic-yet-relentlessly-catchy “hollaback girl,” would fergie have dared to strike out on her own??

i know it’s been a few days since everyone found out about this, but i couldn’t just let it pass. plus a friend of mine said she wouldn’t forgive me if i did!

i thought i was seeing things when i read that tommy hilfiger attacked axl rose at a manhattan club. how could a fashion mogul start a fight with a rock star (even if he’s the singer for guns ‘n roses)? it just doesn’t make sense. “he just kept smacking me,” axl told the press, saying that all he did was move tommy’s “girlfriend’s” drink so it wouldn’t spill.

whatever the reason for the spat - and for axl’s decision to not fight back - i must say that i was happy hear that this homophobic has-been finally got bitch-slapped. it sure was long overdue!

kevin federline is such an easy target, i know, but the shots of him at the liquor store are just too good to pass up. michael k at d listed hit the nail on the head when he assumed k-fed was picking up some boone’s farm for britney! the look on his face says he’s also trying to decide what to get for himself (you can never go wrong with an ice cold beer).

first things first, though, he had to get a pack of smokes. that’s one of the wonders of california - you can cater to all your vices in one place. sometimes i miss my home state…

before now, i haven’t really commented on the train wreck that is whitney houston. this new bit of info, however, is just too ridiculous to ignore.

the june issue of sister 2 sister magazine boasts an interview with cherrelle, the “i didn’t mean to turn you on” songstress and the woman suspected of being whitney’s lover. cherrelle sort of sidesteps the lesbian rumors, humorously enough, but the best part comes when she claims whitney was in disguise when she was spotted at a suburban atlanta convenience store in the middle of the night. according to cherrelle, whitney sometimes dresses up like “a bag lady” so she isn’t noticed by fans or the paparazzi when she’s out in public. haha, i could not make this stuff up!

does cherrelle really think we will buy into this? even if it is true, wouldn’t this costume choice only serve to perpetuate the belief that whitney is a crack whore?

here’s a keeper! look closely at mischa barton’s crotch (just click the pic).

there’s a german word that sums up how i feel about this photo… schadenfreude. i wonder when she finally realized what was going on down there. where’s that photo??

click here for a close-up. i know it’s gross, but it’s like a car crash… you can’t not look!

(via d listed and a socialite’s life)

today my boyfriend compared me to tara reid. we were watching some vh1 show that mentioned her drunken antics, and she was babbling about terrorism and partying with paris hilton.

i was slightly offended at first… but then i realized that it was 11 a.m. and i was drinking a vodka red bull. so i had to admit that i am not a good example. but it’s my day off! and i wasn’t doing anything on camera, like she did on taradise. right??