¡viva la graham!

In case you haven’t already seen it, here’s the video for Mariah Carey’s steamy new single “Touch My Body.” Whoever decided to forgo the anticipated slutty bedroom clip for something light and comical should be commended. Featuring 30 Rock’s Jack McBrayer as a smitten computer geek was also a stroke of genius.

In other Mimi news, she is not calling her album That Chick as I previously posted. It will be called e=mc2 instead. I’m scratching my head, too, but I’m sure Mariah has her reasons (which we’ll all hear about as the album launch approaches).

I had been thinking about abandoning this blog — I really don’t have time to keep up with it daily — but this photo reminded me how much I enjoy sharing a bit of entertainment and humor…

Here’s Nelly taking a time-out from rapping to celebrate the 5 year anniversary of Apple Bottom Jeans, which sort of explains why he’s drooling over an ass confection (no doubt a chocolate cake).

What else can I say? The fireworks are a nice touch. Candles are for pussies! Later on I’m sure Nelly claimed a piece of the crack.

Girls Aloud and Sugababes might have once joined forces for charity, but they’re going head to head in the singles arena once again with their respective new tracks, “Can’t Speak French” and “Denial.” Neither one would have been my choice from their most recent discs, but the flashy clips certainly liven things up a bit (thankfully). As usual, I’m partial to Sugababes, so I’ll put it first:

And Girls Aloud:

Where’s your new video, Danity Kane??

Of course you know Beyonce, pictured right, but do you recognize that poor girl on the left? It’s her little sister Solange Knowles.

If you think Solange’s disproportionate dress looks bad in this photo, you should have seen it on stage last night at the Grammy Awards. Beyonce (or more likely one of Beyonce’s stylists) probably told her she looked hot, so against her better judgment she went with it.

Solange cannot catch a break! Beyonce better not hog the spotlight for too long, or else in forty years there could be some serious drama a la What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? On second thought, keep up the good work Beyonce!

Can you imagine how excited I am right now? TWO Kylie videos made their world premieres yesterday. Up top we’ve got “Wow,” a disco-pop gem which is climbing the charts in the U.K. and Australia and is now rumored to be the first single in the U.S. The visuals, the set, the costumes — everything is absolutely stunning.

And down below you’ll find new European single “In My Arms,” a future club classic. The new clip features the pop princess sporting Kanye West inspired sunglasses and a fabulous checkered dress. Enjoy!

Jared Leto is officially dead to me.

Somewhere along the line he became a douchebag, which is never attractive, and then there’s that mediocre band of his, 30 Seconds to Mars (still can’t get past the ridiculousness of that name, either).

Anyway, here he is getting the last bit of sex sucked out of him by Paris Hilton a few days ago. It was good while it lasted…

[Image via Dlisted]

Do we need more? Not really. But this one actually has promise.

His name is David Jordan, and he sounds like Terrence Trent D’Arby meets Prince meets Michael Jackson, with perhaps a dash of Lenny Kravitz for good measure. He is a flamboyant Brit, so of course the powers that be are attempting to launch his career in the U.K. first. Lord knows if he’ll ever cross the pond (so many European pop stars fail in that respect), but that doesn’t mean a few adventurous Yanks won’t enjoy some of his tunes.

Below you can watch Mr. Jordan’s new video, “Sun Goes Down.” The fantastic new track has just been A-listed by Radio 1, so he must be “on the way up” as they say.

…Or am I a total sucker?

Here’s the alleged cover of Mariah Carey’s new disc, tentatively titled That Chick. The photo looks new — photoshopped like hell, but new — but I think one of Mimi’s precious ”Lambs” put this together. I’m not even going to get started on that album title.

That said, I can’t wait to hear this shit, due out in April. I love this crazy bitch. Bring it on!

British electronic duo Goldfrapp have toned it down a bit since their disco-glam last album, Supernature. The idyllic promotional clip for new single “A&E” (short for “accident and emergency”) debuted this past weekend, and I’m not sure what to make of it. While it’s worth a look — the visuals definitely suit the track’s understated vibe — the choreography performed by the camouflaged dancers seems a bit too manic. Perhaps it will grow on me.

I wasn’t immediately blown away by the song either, but after a few listens I am completely enamored. “A&E” fits right in with breathtaking ballads like “Black Cherry” and “Utopia,” and nicely complements the glitterball glamour of “Ooh La La” and “Train.”

Goldfrapp’s new album, Seventh Tree, will be released Feb 25 in the U.K. and the following day in the States.

Remember Meredith Brooks? She was moderately famous for a few months in the late ’90s thanks to a track called “Bitch.” You probably can’t remember her next single, “What Would Happen,” which peaked on the charts at No. 46. (I had to look it up.)

Twenty-three-year-old Katy Perry is the latest rock chick to take a familiar diss and turn it in into a pop song, only this time around the song is called “Ur So Gay.” It’s about an ex-boyfriend, of course, who is in fact not gay — he just likes H&M and guy-liner.

Like “Bitch” did for Brooks, this tongue-in-cheek track will likely launch Perry into the public eye. Only time will tell if she manages to outlive its’ novelty and forge a long-lasting career. If she’s got more like this up those polka-dotted sleeves, let’s hope she does.

For the record, Perry isn’t using “gay” as a derogatory term. She’s friends with Mika, if that tells you anything. Check out the very infectious “Ur So Gay” in the IMEEM media player in the sidebar (or for a limited time download it for free by clicking on the strawberry tattoo from her official web site — password: pnasty). Whistle along with her if you like.